I dont know what to say about this one. There feels like tons to say and also nothing at all to say.
I’ve had so many thoughts throughout the day but I don’t really want to write about them. The one that has been constant is isn’t time supposed to make it easier? Make it hurt less?
Because so far it hasn’t. It doesn’t feel like anything has changed, nothing is better. And this is where I’ve been living lately. That it hurts, oh fuck it hurts. And it doesn’t feel like it’s hurting any less, and that it will ever not hurt. That I’m scared that all the time in my future will feel like it does right now.
It does fucking hurt. So much.
I have to trust t and other smart people who say that it won’t stay the same, it evolves and gets less. I’m with you, in that place where it is just so endlessly hurty and awful, but i think i can hold the hope and trust for us both, that our time in the future will not be like it is now. Okay?
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