twenty-eight: nurture

this one would make me more sad if i weren’t so tired.

i think of nurturing as being something mothers do. and i had a mother who could be nurturing, but who also took it away with little notice. so it was not something to be trusted.

when i think of nurturing, i think of little, small, innocent people, who require patience and love and consistency and steadiness so they can develop and grow. i hope i was sometimes a mama like that when my daughter was smaller, and i want to keep being that for her in meaningful ways as she grows bigger. i want to be a nurturing, loving presence for pocketbrit (both big and little), and i want to be that for little me, who still has a chasm of hurt in her chest for what she didn’t get (and got instead) all those years ago.

Nurture

Seriously? Fuck off.

Hahaha I just googled it to get the definition –¬†to care for and protect (someone or something) while they are growing¬†– no fucking wonder I’m drawing up a blank on this one. Really, how much can I have to say about it?

Actually the image in my head is of a green fingered person… caring for plants. Planting the seeds, potting on the seedlings, watering, feeding, looking after them so that they grow. My mum was shit with plants too – they always died. Go figure.