Young

I couldn’t do this yesterday, and I’m not really sure I can do it tonight.

I don’t know what to say… It feels like there’s too much to say, and I’ll forget things, and I’ll change my mind, and I’ll mess it up.

Pocketcanadians post was beautifully, heartbreakingly written. And I feel, to a big extent, the same way.

I’m a bit further back on loving her though. I can do it so much more these days, but I also just don’t want to listen or deal with it, and don’t want to care.

And, I struggle, because I wasn’t that young. I knew what I was doing sometimes and I still believe it was my fault, even if I only did what I did because of what came before.

I was old enough to do better, but I didn’t. I wasn’t that young…that’s why I hate her.

One thought on “Young

  1. you were much much too young to have to know anything about any of this, my love. and so so small when it started.

    you don’t have to love her all the time, it’s too hard. i’m here for that bit, until you can. you have come leaps and bounds…and how you are so gentle with mine, is how i know you’ll get to where it hurts less, where you blame the people who did the hurting more. you have so much love in your heart, i’m so lucky to know it. xo

    Like

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