I couldn’t do this yesterday, and I’m not really sure I can do it tonight.
I don’t know what to say… It feels like there’s too much to say, and I’ll forget things, and I’ll change my mind, and I’ll mess it up.
Pocketcanadians post was beautifully, heartbreakingly written. And I feel, to a big extent, the same way.
I’m a bit further back on loving her though. I can do it so much more these days, but I also just don’t want to listen or deal with it, and don’t want to care.
And, I struggle, because I wasn’t that young. I knew what I was doing sometimes and I still believe it was my fault, even if I only did what I did because of what came before.
I was old enough to do better, but I didn’t. I wasn’t that young…that’s why I hate her.