Okay I actually have lovely connotations with this word now.
Pocketcanadian has this lovely children’s book that she likes when she’s feeling sad, and she’s read it to me a few times too.
The books called Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You by Nancy Tillman. And this part always brings tears to my eyes when pc reads it:
And if someday you’re lonely or someday you’re sad,
Or you strike out at baseball or think you’ve been bad,
Just lift up your face, feel the wind in your hair, thats me my sweet baby, my love is right there.
I think it’s a mixture of all of it… The feeling lonely and sad, but particularly the thinking you’ve been bad, because oh that speaks to my little one. And I just love this part. Just lift up your face, feel the wind in your hair. Thats me, my sweet baby, my love is right there. Its so lovely and soft, and I hear it in pc’s voice. It’s something about feeling seen, and obviously, feeling loved.
So, I’ve found myself thinking of this when I’m sad and outside, and can feel the wind in my face. I have actually lifted my head up towards it before, hearing pocketcanadians words in my head, and feeling her love as the wind blows in my face, tears in my eyes and love in my heart.