i have a recurring dream where i’m trying to scream but no noise comes out. or only a small slow puff of air. but in the dream, i’m so incredibly desperate, eyes bugging out, arms waving, i’m trying my best to let people know i need help, i’m here, don’t leave without me…

lately it’s all kind of seemed like that. like i’m stuck in that feeling of screaming, of needing help but nothing is coming out.

*

as an aside, i also keep imagining those cartoons or movies where people open their mouths to scream and their uvula is vibrating at the back of their throats and then you’re transported down into their digestive system via some invisible gondola with crazy psychedelic colours rippling out everywhere and the scream getting more and more muffled…

or maybe i’m just getting inspired by that weird counting sesame street skit with the really catchy tune. (also, i don’t know why they don’t include the one for #1?)

(and no, i’m not on drugs, unless you count being slightly addled by sleep deprivation and having just taken nighttime cold medication…)