one hundred & sixty: morning

the gorgeous-est version of this song was my first thought (and i am a fan of dolly’s, don’t think i’m not, it’s just the wailin’ jennys are perfection, sorry).

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and then, honestly, i thought about how much i kinda fucking hate mornings in general. how long it takes me to wake up, to feel ready to face the day. how some mornings, i open my eyes and just know it’s going to suck the big one. see my earlier post to refresh your memory, lol…

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the majority of my mornings, i have access to pocketbrit coz of the time difference. her mornings are mostly without me (unless i’m awake coz of my job), whereas it’s my nights that are quiet. it is one of the pluses of my mornings. i definitely miss her at night but i think i would also find mornings lonely without her.

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i do like coffee, though, and that’s mostly a morning drink at our house. so maybe it’s not the mornings i hate entirely but mostly the waking up part? i dunno.

Morning (160)

I am very definitely¬†not a morning person… My ideal morning is when you wake up naturally from the light entering your room at about 9.30am, you go grab yourself a really good cup of coffee, and go back upstairs. You open the curtains and the windows, its a beautiful late spring morning and you climb back into clean sheets which were changed the day before, with a good book, your coffee, and you can feel a gentle warm breeze coming through the window, and hear the chirping of the little birds outside.

Tomorrow morning, please?

one hundred & fifty-nine: affirmation

i loved pocketbrit’s post, even though it made me so sad. i can relate so much to the absolute thirst to hear praise and affirmations but the subsequent inability to absorb them, to hold them, to allow them. the desperate need for the words but the utter lack of experience with what to do with them.

my post is more about the affirmations that you can find slathered all over empty journals, in bookstores on stationary, and all over social media. the ones that often make me roll my eyes and feel slightly homicidal. (i mean seriously, “it is what it is”?! i mean, yeah, it’s true, but then why not say “it isn’t what it isn’t”? or “it can’t be what it can’t be”?! i have enough input in my life from captain obvious…sheesh)

okay, okay, i know i’m being judgy. except, i’m pretty sure you’ll judge me for mine, too, coz they probably don’t speak to anyone else but me. i do have some affirmations i hold tight. like i’ve made it through 100% of my bad days. for me, that is worth celebrating. i’ve had a lot of bad days, especially lately, including ones where i don’t want to be here, where i want it all to end. so that one is a good reminder.

i also seem to revisit shame is just trying to save your life, but we don’t have to listen to him and feelings come and feelings go. i’m fully aware these ones are extra cheesy, and when i’m in the pit, they don’t work, coz nothing does…but¬† on days when it seems possible to believe something, i do believe those.