Soft(ness)

I actually associate softness with safety. When I think of being snuggled up at the sea with pocketcanadian I often refer to it as being soft and warm and safe.

Soft people. Soft expressions, soft embraces, soft hands. (at this point I’ve said soft a lot of times in my head and I’m starting to realise how stupid it is. You know when you say a word so much that you start to question if you’re saying it right, or if you’ve totally lost it)…

I want to be a soft person. Some place soft for people to land when they’ve been hurt or are just finding it hard or need somebody. And I seek that out in others (pc is one). And yet, other parts of me despise it, for being weak. They want to be hard and forceful and closed up. Sharp edges and sharp words. There are times that my body is on fire. All the self hatred and the anger, wanting to just rip all of the layers off of me. All the squishy, all the soft. Be completely hard, have no soft weak points.

So I love and hate softness, both.

One thought on “Soft(ness)

  1. you are my soft place to land, many times. i know it’s such a fraught word…i know you want it, and hate that you want it. are it, but hate that you are. i can relate to that too. xo

    Like

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