Spring (204)

I like this time of year…and very nicely appropriate that we get this word at this time of year. I love the warmth that just starts to make an appearance. I like how after a long cold winter (which I also like…I like all the seasons in their own way, although winter and early spring is generally shit for me), and dark early nights, the clocks go back and the nights are lighter, and then they start to get warmer, and it really does make a difference on my mood. I love getting sunglasses back out, taking my jumper off and feeling the sun on my arms. I love the first barbeque of the year, and gardening, and being outside. The birds singing, the sun warming everything up, and the trees and flowers coming out. Bring on summer…I’m very ready for you

two hundred & four: spring

i like lots of things about spring. green things starting to poke out of damp black soil. murky puddles rippling in the cool breeze. the freshness of the air, how it feels like it scrubs my lungs. new growth. new beginnings.

except spring is hard, too. the smell of the mud. the bare trees against brilliant blue skies. crisp air and sunshine. my birthday. all sneaky, horrible, cumulative triggers.

it happens every year, there is a day that is so similar to that day long ago, and it all goes sideways. even if i think i’ve escaped it, even if i’m sure i’ll dodge it, i don’t.

written Apr 17/19; backdated