I’m not a person that uses the word enemy…it feels like a 13 year old girl type of word to use.
But over the day I’ve had the word in my head, and I guess without even realising I was doing it I started thinking of who I would consider an enemy, if I was going to use that word. The people that keep popping into my mind are the people that facilitate it, or turn a blind eye, that allow abuse to happen and make no effort to stop it. They’re even worse than the people that abuse. At least that’s how I’m feeling right now….likely because of how I’m feeling towards these people that are still in my life right now.
Because it’s one thing to abuse a kid. You’ve got to be pretty fucked up to do that to begin with. But to be a ‘normal’ person, and to sit back, do nothing, say nothing, allow a child to be abused because it would cause too much of a scene to do otherwise…that just makes me feel sick.
And then something made me feel sicker still….Aren’t I one of those? I’m doing nothing while my abuser gets married and has kids (the latter happening first, and I think, soon. I’m saying nothing, I’m giving her no warning, no heads up, just ignoring it. What if there is even the tiniest possibility of him doing that to his own kids? Isn’t it my duty to make sure that never happens? Aren’t I just sitting back and allowing him to get away with it? Not making him confront what he did to me, not making him access help, not asking for any reassurance that he would never do it again?
Am I not just one of those people that I would consider an ‘enemy’ if I was forced to use that word?