Meeting (280)

Last September when we started this blog the idea of meeting each other was something that we were talking about, but hadn’t actually made proper plans for. Who would go to who? Or would it be better to meet somewhere completely different? Meet in the middle? (Though not literally, as that would be the middle of the ocean after all.)

It was something that scared me and excited me both. I asked to go over to Canada, as I thought that pocketcanadian’s family could provide some useful distraction. (Whilst we know each other very well neither of us are being blind to how difficult it could be, and strange it will be, to be sat face to face after all this time.) So what time of year? How long for? Would I stay in a hotel or at their house? Still lots of questions. Then pocketcanadian booked time off work, we talked about it some more, and then I just did it, booked the flights. In the ‘just do it and worry about it later’ way that helps with my anxiety. I’ve never travelled alone via airports, I don’t even like flying. I’m going to be a bag of sleep deprived nerves, anxiety and worry. But it’s booked. It’s been booked for 6 months now, and I’m excited. And nervous, and anxious, but really very excited. As in there is a list of things to pack already stuck on my fridge. There is a purse with canadian dollars and my passport, and a couple of clothes that I got which are ready and not going to be worn beforehand.

It’s going to be bizarre, landing in Canada, going through security, picking up my suitcase, and walking out to try to find my best friend that I’ve never even been in the same country as. What’s that meeting going to be like? Will we hug? Or will that feel too weird? Will I cry (with my lack of sleep, heightened anxiety, and unfortunately I think pms)? Probably. Will she cry? If I am, probably. Will we feel at ease? I doubt it, not right away. Will we just stare and smile at the other without really saying much, like we did the first time we video called each other? (Seriously people, it was goofy grins for hours. We’re ridiculous.)

My week after that first meeting is going to include a few more; meeting those people closest to pocketcanadian. Her family and her friend. Those meetings will scare me too, but they won’t be as important to me as that very first one. 💜

One thought on “Meeting (280)

  1. This made me goofy-grin just reading it. I am so excited too. SO. EXCITED.

    I’ve been thinking about all kinds of ridiculous things, like what we will cook. Whether she’ll laugh at me the same in person as she does on video. Whether my messiness will drive her bonkers. What we might do, where we’ll go, what I’ll do when I see her at the airport. This weekend when I was in our spare room I imagined all her stuff spread out and I thought, I’m not going to be able to sleep knowing she’s downstairs, I’m going to have ants in my pants. And what it will be like not having to wait to tell her things, being able to just say them. Silly things.

    And then, I find myself thinking about all the people I love best in the same house. In the same room. (!!) And wondering if I’ll be able to stand it without hearts floating out of my eyeballs or having my actual heart beat out of its chest like in the cartoons. We’ll see in t minus 7.5 weeks… 💜 💙💗

    Like

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